It was such a sneaky little thought.. And also a very scary one. I would never think to end my life.. Not fun at all. But at least I can recognize it and do something about it. And for me, I know medication is not the answer. Its a matter of educating myself and finding healthier safer ways of managing my symptoms until I can be healed. I have hope that this will pass. Just by reading this I can sum up your character. You are a strong woman.
I can see through the positivness you mask on. Let me tell u something Hun , someone that fights these thoughts , it tends to bring you lower and drain you. You become your own worst enemy, sometimes you need to let your depression be. You are sweeping all your problems under the rug for the sake of others and of course trying to make yourself feel better.
I have a little song for you. Goodluck in future beautiful girl. I genuinely wish the best for you x youtu. I know it may seem stupid that a 15 year old is saying this, but I just really want to know, so if you could maybe help I would be really grateful. I think it may be depression because of how much my life has changed.
My mom started to do drugs and it absolutely changed her, she also got deported, my childhood house got foreclosed on, I got separated from my siblings, and now I have no motivation to do anything. It would just be a breath of fresh air if I could figure out what is wrong with me, is it depression or is it just laziness? You are a very good hearted person that is having difficulty expressing your emotions. People like me went through hardships, and will continue to, so that we can tell you that IT WILL and does get better.
Your sister is different how she handles things, and even though she said hurtful things, she may be hurting inside on her own. Forgive her.
You may try reaching out to someone. Do not feel ashamed. Talk to a counselor. Talk to a friend. Pray my dear. In the end, when all else fails, hope and faith remains. Then every time I cry I make myself laugh. And then I tell myself I lost my mind and my heart long time ago and then I have dreams that I get killed. And something else I m scared to talk to anyone because they might think I m missed up and send me away. Im I going crazy? Im happy around my friends,and when I come home I feel mad and said and always mad at my brother.
Thank you for your comment, Naz.
So as usual im up late and cant sleep with my mind working over time. I have an amazing boyfriend and a beautiful daughter but still I feel numb to everything else. Ive had problems all my life with anger etc that really is the only emotion I feel a lot. Precious t, while no one can know how you feel exactly, pain is so individual, there are some who may be better able to help you through the unique pain associated with miscarriage and similar losses.
I am not recommending this site, but I am sharing it with you as a possible starting place to help you through this time. Please try to remember that you are not only dealing with the emotions of loss, but your body is recovering as well. Your hormones may even be the cause of some of your pain.
Know that you are loved. I will be praying for your recovery and return to wholeness and wellness. I might have been cooking, gone out for a walk or sleeping and waking up feeling like I was crying all night. I found no related website so far that can explain this symptom and relate this to a mental illness. Has anyone experienced this? Do you know what this is? Tonight was one of those nights where I was laying in bed and I just started to cry, I feel so damaged, I feel like nobody understands me, I feel useless for not being able to cope with my feelings and it makes my heart hurt even more but I have such a hard time saying how I feel to other people.
I want to express myself freely and actually enjoy my life, not just pretend anymore. Aww beautiful girl : I am exactly like you , this comment really cut me deep cause I genuinely know what you are going through. No matter how much depression can make you deny that people do understand, I do. That moment where you break down from keeping it so hidden, you feel like the Angels just break down with you, that the whole world is just a illusion masked by sorrow and pain.
I feel you darling , I am someone studying to be a phychologist and yet battling mental illness, lol the irony. Cant sy nythg dears M on d same track…!! I dn knw wt to do Frdz,al things,dis dat blah blah ol r keep on changing bt m still dere,dat pain z stilll dere No solution I use to shw m happieee n i use to mak ma frdz happie bt in real no wrds dt wt m feeling inside.
Tell me: how exactly does one win in this society? Thank you for your comment, Lisa. Me too. B good to talk if ur interested…sum1 that understands. One day i feel i have lost the fight and the next i see a tiny ray of light. But most days im jst numb and here. I dont know how we keep living. I really dont. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for your comment, S. She just cares about my older brother. I try. I really do. I get straight, unlike my brother. She gives my brother all the attention. Just ten minutes ago I pretended to be sleeping because I was crying and my mom came in.
My friends? Yea, I might still have some. But who cares? My mom gives me crap about it and laughs. Are you kidding me? I worked my butt off. Its summer. I plan on not talking to my friends. Maybe make a few fake friends in my head? Or just stay cooped up in my bedroom blasting Nightcore, Dubstep, Country or just sounds. I cry in the middle of the day when ny brother is out of the house and my mom is working. I admit. I NEED to lose ten-five pounds. I need to work out.
I have no talent. Wait, no.
My talent is putting on a fake smile everyday, pretending to be happy, and pretending everyone cares. Have a lovely day. Think of fluffy rainbows and please, be happy. Your story coincides with my story. And i hate my mom. I am regretful that she is my mom. Umm well, I was talking to my friends ten minutes ago. Twenty to an hour ago lost track of time I was crying my eyes out. I was crying my eyes out while talking to my friends.
One of them knew I was crying. Did nothing. Of course, my one friend knew this. Then it all stopped, so I told her. She stopped messaging me for twenty minutes until I said I stopped. Then she wanted to talk about this guy. This is why I want to die. One of the reasons. I cut. On my ankle. When I do, it barely cuts because I use a rusted knife. But, like this article states, I put a fake smile on my face, help others, and act like nothing happened. Until I get in my room. All alone with my thoughts…. Goodbye, nice people.
Thank you for your comment, Rawr. I have this crushing sadness inside me.. I feel misunderstood, lost, and I sometimes just want to end everything.. My mom says she is concerned, but when I try to talk to her she asks me if something else is bothering me—if there is an underlying cause to what I am feeling.
My panic attacks have been frequent in the last few months, just writing this makes me feel numb, dizzy, and my heart is racing. Ive always pretended to be happy around my friends, Im mostly known for how funny and how I can make other people feel better, I pretend to be happy but Im not.
Pretending to be happy is becoming to hard for me now and I dont think I can go on, Im afraid if people see the real me They will be.. Like afraid of me or think of me as a psyco crazy guy.. Im exactly the same i act so happy around my friends! The truth is im severly depressed i lay in my bed crying after school everyday and cant do the simplest things which causes a shit ton of arugments with my mum who refuses to get me any anti-depressents she just shouts at me and calls me a lazy bitch. If u want anti depressants go to the doctor. I did. Wen I was I came off them wen I was 26…shud never have done that.
Unless they feel it too. My parents were physically and emotionally abusive. Ultimately, abandoning me. My sister never loved me. Hated and resented me. Was bullied and ostrisized by all my classmates all throughout primary school. I had one friend she betrayed me over a fight between her mother and my grandma. My learning disabilities made me a failure scholastically.
My eldest son hates me. My second son is physically and mentally disabled. The last ray of hope in my life is my daughter. But now I suspect something may be wrong with her mentally. I am depressed because my life has been one long string of disappointments, failures, and dream crushing. Any thoughts of hope,joy,or love has never happened and never will. My life ment nothing to anyone and I contributed nothing of value by being alive. Who can understand that? I cant even cry, cant even feel sad for myself but jst the guilt. Maybe just the exp? My partner says to me go n do something then u wont feel depressed down upset he said its simple to solv it do something then ule fprget about it.
I use to shw to ma frdz dat m very happy n i use to make dem happy,m Jovial kind of person as dey use to say me bt in real m nt,u cant imagine hw m feeling inside.
M vry dippressed cz m nt finding ny way. Smtym i use to put sad pic on ma DP den ma frdz rplies r so bad.. Isssss dis DP z nt suiting u,u r nt lik dat dis dat blah blah Bt hw do i make dem satisfies dat dude hlo m also human being. Dey dn u understand me at ol, M alone,empty n so lonely frm inside I dn knw wt wil b ma future smtym i feel lyk i gonna commit suicide bt whn i usetp think abt lyf den i use to satisfy ma slf dat no m nt dat mch looser..
So no solution : i dn knw whr dese thing going to take me. So speechless M actor in frnt of ma frdz Bt in real m….!!!!! No words. I have been depressed for over have of my life I am almost My parents got divorced and my father remarried shortly after. I never coped well with the change; while my mother and father were going through their issues I was able to talk to a therapist a couple times. But once their divorce was finalized the counseling stopped. Neither one of my parents ever asked if I was ok or about my feeling when inside I was hurting every single day.
So growing up I felt as if no one cared about my feelings. In the past 8 years I have endured my father telling me to go find a new father, my mother telling me that no one ever wanted me, as well as other family members emotional abusing me. But like my whole life I sit back and take the abuse. Years later, all of the emotions and thoughts that I have been holding on to are really effecting me. I get up every day, put on my fake face, and go to work pretending my life is fine. But as soon as I leave my mask comes off and I am severely depressed. On a daily basis I ask myself what is the point of living.
I have no family or friends so I continue to hold in my feelings. When I have been to the doctors and explain to them that I am depressed they seem to not care and simply give me a medication that does not work. I have been on several medications in the past 5 years and nothing has helped at all. But I have no friends. My boyfriend has lots of friends therefore his phone is going off constantly and his fingers type massive amounts of texts and snap chats all day long.
No one, not even my family talks to me for weeks at a time. I crave conversation and friendship. I feel empty and very jealous of my boyfriend. I feel this, everyday. I have pretended throughout my life. As a child I had to act happy in order to have a home…I grew up as a foster child and my brothers and i were terribly abused during those 14 years in foster care. You learn how to act happy and how to keep quiet so no one knows the truth.
All the time holding on to when you will be an adult and it will all be different. Of course life was totlly different but the depression was still there and I had no idea that was what it was even. I had to try harder , be more thankful, work harder, etc. Finally after some years I started to get treatment and therapy and it has helped immensely. But this depression is still here… I am so much better than I was but when I took a test to see if I was depressed I scored higher than the chart went-but this is feelinbg pretty good to me.
I continue to see my therapist and a psychiatrist. I have had numerous hospitalizations, they happened in the year after our dear daughter died from cancer. Now I am working through more grief… my husband died last sept. I know that i have not begun to work thrtoigh that with my brother. I know I am so much better off now than 10 years ago but it does seem that it will go on forever.
Maybe that is OK though if it does. I do better wit h the extra support I get from therapy and my insurance pays well so maybe this is a good thing to just continue to do. I am amazed at how awful I feel and then someone calls and it is like there is this new me that popped in there and then we have some fun and I come back homeand collapse. It is such hard work to be on like that. No answers… I just keep on keeping on and working on it as I can. That is another issue though.
It is incredibly hard to take myself to get some exercise… so hard to join in and then show up consistently. So, I tend to drop out and never go back. WEll… I said more than I planned. I use to have a support group some years back. I like that as it was with other depressed peoples and we could relate. I wonder if there are any around anymore. I remember going in my closet and crying I remember playing by myself I remember wanting to kill myself.
I am right where you are excpet i do not have my girls in my life. The depression is slowly killing me but everyone wants me to keep trying. I get so tired sometimes and i just want to stop being. I gave gotten to the point that it does not matter if i tell the truth of what i feel because everyone seems to think i can keep pulling myself back up. I dont know how much longer i live this way. Thank you for your comment, Anna. I feel so ugly inside of myself, but I have to pretend like if there is nothing wrong with me on the outside. So my only refuge is living in a garage and isolating myself days at a time without coming out.
I often pray for something to happen to me so that I could be released from this mental prison. Hi Richard, thank you for your comment! Please know there is help available! Working with a therapist can help you manage the isolation, depression, and mania you feel, and give you tools to help overcome it. You can search for a therapist on the GoodTherapy.
Sweetness is a name the love of my life used to call me. Well inside I feel like my entire world Is falling apart. Thank you for your article, it reaaly help me. I have been feeling depressed for several months but kept myself busy, trying to be happy and positive. People always say how they se me as a kind sensitive, thoughtful and compassionate person. Inside I feel a heavy weight on my chest, I feel like I want to cry and cry and never stop.
But your article made me stop and I called my General doctor. He suggested a short course of medication not heavy stuff just for months and to call him again in a week to talk. Reading your article helped me do something. Thank you. I feel like I have been depressed my whole life and no one ever cared. My childhood was far from good and at 15 years old I found my grandad dead wich finally broke me. I pretend to be happy when with friends and family but it scares me that I have become so good at it, will I ever feel happy for real or will it always be fake.
Keep on fighting, because life is a beautiful struggle…. I have read the article and a few of the responses and relate to so much. I am double the age of a few of you and it took me over 25 years of suffering to do something about it. Stress to prove yourself just brought me back to my life at home from the age of Trigger was, at 52 was I am only staff, replaceable, not important, etc.
But my doctor saved me and introduced me to a great counsellor, who cares, go figure. I thought I was useless, not important, stupid, etc. But, I have been faking being happy for years. Almost my whole life. For me I feel life still sucks, but I am getting help and am off on disability. This helps, but now I think people are thinking I am faking the depression. Only my husband and my doctors. I have children over 18 and 22, they are the only reason I am alive today. They were NOT mistakes! But, I am hanging in and fighting every day! Take care everyone.
I am 16 years old and one of four siblings. I grew up being the youngest girl in the family, where my father and mother always paid attention to me and always cared towards me. But that changed when my mother had another child and that was when all the attention shifted — and I understood that I did. But then my father came home from work everyday and stopped giving me hugs and kisses and my mother stopped talking to me like she used to I got upset. I cried about this and realized I was being overdramatic. Then years passed and still nothing.
My older sister has been a parent to me my whole life and it has always sucked. My mother was always around but my sister always took charge. I have grown up with her yelling at me cursing at me and hating all my guts as she blames all her stress and anxiety on me. She just like the rest of my family remembers my actions as a young child and they only see that version of me. On top of this I went through a phase where I lost all my friends and my circle of friends reduced to 7. And these 7 friends all became depressed and self harming.
One even was considering suicide. This is when my depression really started. Then I put on a smile and began doing drugs which I really hated. I lost more friends and I felt alone and dark and still feel that way. I have been pushing my feelings away for so long I no longer feel anything. I need help. Thank you for your comment, Polly. I completely understand how you feel. I am the middle child of 4 siblings and I always feel left out. Not the oldest nor the youngest. The only person that has ever cared about my emotions and my feelings is my father.
And he recently passed away. My dad used to help me so much. He was my best friend. She never listens to me and all she wants me to do is get good grades in school so I can go to a good college and get her money. Have been living alone for 7 months. I feel numb and emotionally delicate. I wish they knew me better, I wish they knew that I am broken from inside and the laughter on my face at the uni is just for the show …. I know exactly what you are going through. I really distrust people. I know its weird but more effective, i sincerely mean that.
Jobsworths or HTP time relive pills on anxiety days I think they sell both at walgreens but try somewhere cheaper, even Walmart might sell it in store or online, Amazon, etc. You might find out a little something new during the conversation to think about in that day. I have absolutely no trust for psychiatrists, they seem more afraid of you than you being afraid of you, which worsens how you feel about your overall self. I bruise myself a lot on the thigh, and throw myself at walls or doors to deliberately hurt my arms or shoulders, I starve myself a lot until the point of my stomach twisting and jumping around for something to feed on, which I would normally feed it like a bite of something throughout the day to get by with the starvation coping mode that creates disillusion for me a lot of the time just to think how hungry i am instead of feeling how angry or scared i am.
But seriously! Living hurts, I know, and I usually scream i want to die at the top of my lungs literally I do, not usually with anyone around though, but other times it can turn fun when someone overhears and starts to get concerned and you have to make up a reason for what you said just to get it out of me until that phrase becomes a broken record and those thoughts get depleted out of you until later. Remember though, you are NOT alone in your battles to come or have already: -When your eyes go black paint it white and blink, -When shadows creep up on you, blind them standing with the biggest smile that it even scares the Joker, -And always laugh at the demon that looks at you through the mirror for it is an animal incarcerated in your zoo that only exists to eat and shit while you are more than that.
Knowing someone who understands you through their own experience of it is very comforting and they would have a sense of what to do, even just sit with you till you have upraise from the battle in your war. Hi…I am a 14 year old boy…and things have not been pretty when I was young until now. Mom and dad often fought and would always result with scar marks all over mom.
It was just last year that my mom found out that she was depressed…and all this while my mom have been venting out her anger on me. Nothing I do is the way she wanted it to be. She would say that she wish I was never born, and that its a mistake that she gave birth to me. I was sad and despair. I am a happy go lucky guy but i can just take this much before i snap and start doing dumb shit.
Thought of cutting myself but I encourage myself that things will change. I just Want help…. Thank you for your comment, Alex. Hi im a 15 year old girl Im mostly by myself I never had a real friend before.. Well after a long decision i have decided to tell my family about my depression and probably anxiety.
The school councillor is deciding a good day to meet them. The feeling of having depression really sucks. Being there. All i want is for someone to understand how it feels. I really want some help, can anyone help? I want you to know that you are not alone. I wake up everyday with a smile on my face. That allows me to take stuff one day at a time by appreciating the simplest things opening up my eyes and moving my legs, because i love to dance.
Outside of those small things, i think you should talk to a professional counselor, social worker, or psychologist. Talk to someone Sophia. I was dating a psychiatrist when I became depressed. I did the hiding until I was alone. She broke it off with me unexpectedly after 8 months. We never even had one argument, really. I sort of opened up about it to her, but I was soon rejected as a whole. So, even the trained professionals may misunderstand someone that is depressed. I was physically abused since I was just a few years old. I hide my pain by being always chiper.
What should I do? Prettygirl01 finding someone who can listen to you, in a non-judgemental way can be helpful. Try finding a therapist, some places offer therapy free of charge. You can also write a diary, express your emotions, and then rip out the pages. If you feel you cannot trust your parents, perhaps find a different person, a relative, best friend, adult, or try those help phone lines, they maybe more help then you think. Look for something that gives your life meaning and peace. I sincerely hope you find it.
Hi I am just wondering what I should do. I no longer laugh at many funny things. Nor do I cry when everyone around me is in tears. I have a wonderful job beautiful grandchildren. Just that I feel sad and anxious most of the time. How do I turn this around. Thanks again for listening. Hi, I am a 35 year old female who would consider myself a very happy person.
Someone who loves life, doing things for other people, etc. About 3 months ago, this all changed. The things I used to enjoy now just seem routine. This is also the feeling, along with guilt, I get when I catch myself laughing or having fun. I have not had an easy life, Lost both parents at a young age, suffered physical and emotional abuse along with other things. I now wonder if I have been sad most of my life and the feelings of happiness I felt were actually a front l used to hide the pain. I had a few problems 5 years ago but after that incident that officially scared me and made me want to honestly die, well after that, I came home and my dad started to be an alcoholic, his side of the family says things that hurt me and can put me down in the matter of seconds but I smile and agree with what they say.
Im living with my aunt and she can help me with finding a therapist. Im Eunice 13 years old. I may be too young but I gone througg many trials in life family problems. I am always happy, cheerful and sweet in school but i feel sad and i almost want to cry a river when im alone. My passion and interest in studying is gone. In work I just hang my head all day in sadness and shame.
I now shy away from gatherings afraid to face everyone smarter than me. Have lost interest in many things I used to love. I think about her and end up crying all night. I am truly among the forgotten. A wild night of sex would be a welcome bandaid but not the cure for my depression. I am a married woman with grown children. Although this is where I start to feel the weight of guilt due to my painful lymes, it has cause a lack of ability to want anyone to touch me most times and then- boom, I am filled with guilt. As I said earlier, I am a Christian, so I choose to just go through and my continued focus on scripture.
I am thankful for the support of God as I hurt and mentally attack myself. I will keep you in my prayers. I really feel like the mear shell of the man I used to be. If only I had someone to hug and cry with in a very personal way. My god, just to hold someone and let out all these pent up emotions and cry like a baby with another trusted mature adult that understands. Being a middle aged guy I would be just another statistic. We saw your comment and wanted to offer you some information on crisis resources. If you feel you might be in crisis, please visit your local hospital or call immediately.
Thank you very much for looking out. I love my family to much to ever put that on them. Healing can come from those who understand. We all need hope, so at least we can be the hope for others. I do understand what you may be going through , I really hope you can just keep reaching out on this place.
I also hope you are seeking council. We just need to force ourselves to step out of our comfort zone even if that place is a black hole. Not trying to tell you what you should do, just maybe a new way to change direction for yourself. I am not a councilor but I do have great care for others. Please keep sharing and opening up, you and I and so many others will benefit from listening. I find myself talking to myself in a way to put myself down. I have a feeling of being completely alone, no friendships, only myself knows.
That probably has much to do with how I feel. Sometimes I want to just disappear and I keep hearing the sound of my voice telling me everyone would be better off without me here. I hate that! I want to be here, but I feel like this sadness is pulling me under. I feel trapped in my darkness. I am trying so hard to find ways to help myself, not feeling hopeful. Hi Alisha, Today Tuesday was especially a dark one where I found myself hidden away in a dark empty office at work crying. TV always has to remind me the holidays are coming in order to sell their wares, just the thought of another Christmas home alone balling my eyes out is just torture for me.
I live all alone in the world, why bother as I have nothing to celebrate anyway. Thank god I never took to the bottle at all. Sometimes I used to go to the grocery or department store just to avoid being alone and see pretty ladies. At the checkout just to gaze into their eyes and touch their hand for my change means the world. We at GoodTherapy. If you feel that your thoughts may manifest as actions, please contact your local law enforcement agency or visit an emergency room. Thank god for this forum as we have nowhere else to turn especially a room full of others crying in depression like me.
Most forums end up being a joke with 12 year olds posting stupidity and immature comments. I would hope that someday I would have a reason to smile again instead of spending my free time hidden away balling with a broken heart. Classical, ballet and opera are true mature adult reflections often of ones love for another. I am really trying NOT to think about my last cold empty night kneeling on the tracks a completely broken spirit crying my eyes out waiting to die, this is not pleasant but remember your in a depression forum for adults and I tell it like it is.
I do thank god I have several nice sets of Rosary Beads I pray with for giving me the strength to cope with another day in the face of complete emotional breakdown. I love you all especially Alisha for at least taking the time to read the sad story of a middle aged man. Just got in from shopping, was nice to see pretty ladies at least from afar.
Same thing on the way to my restaurant table party of one of course I have no right to look at anyone. I have NO criminal record or any history of any kind of addiction thank god I work a full time job. I know God never intended for life to be this way. I have plenty of money from my parents estate but that is not the cure for depression either. Hit rock bottom about two weeks ago.
Have had a few family losses over the past couple of years. My mother and my younger brother who was also my best friend. Have recently started a new life in Canada and things are going really well. I recently lost my mom and grandma and my dad re married. I miss my mom an the good old days when life was simple. I also moved a different state I used to live in Idaho and I miss that place too. I feel useless inside and I hide my personality. I hate stating my opinion especially if it is laughed at. Or made fun of. I am also adopted and I want to find out more but.
Just going to ignore it. Another big fear is if I have add. And my friend once thought I had it and my 6 grade teacher thought I had it. I lost my infant daughter one or two months ago. I have lost track of time. I find that I spend most of my days spacing out. Now I know. I also found out that I do some of the things that your article said. I usually try to keep that in check. I get angry at his depressing moods. I know I should not be. I feel like I have to watch him with what little energy I can spare. Now as I am writing this my emotions are trying to come back.
That is why I usually secluded myself. I tell myself I should have expected the passing of our daughter because she was born with a heart defect but I still think how unfair it is. My boyfriend asks me how I can deal with it because I am not openly crying and playing music that makes things more depressing like how he is. I am not dealing with it. I am living with it. I like minimum people. I hate crowds. Thank you for actually reading all of that. If you did. These days I found myself unable to think straight and logically.
It is like my brain has somewhat stopped working and is on an auto pilot mode.
I am studying a course which requieres me to use my reasoning skill effectively but i find that it is getting worse. I could not concentrate for long, my mind is always spaced out and I am pretty much most of the days sad. I hide my sadness and pretend I am okay even when I am not. I can even laugh and make a joke but i could feel the sadness always lingering around.
I do not want to be a burden to my family and friends. I do not want to be the person who spreads negative energy and brings the mood down. I am from a good family and the oldest of my siblings. I got good grade at school, sociable and involved myself in clubs and societies. My parents were proud of me and I tried to be a good example to my younger siblings. Things started to get pretty bad in college because I could not handle the stress and I did not do so well in exams and that added to more stress.
But I managed to do pretty well in the end to pass the minimum score needed to do a degree in medicine abroad with a loan from the govt. I am in my final year now and I can say that I really am at my limit. You could say I am not being grateful because I am blessed with a good family and friends, while being able to get a good education.
I wonder why myself how I got to this point. Why i am like this. I have been hiding my depression for a long time and last year I decided to be more open about it. I seek help; see a counsellor and take medications. I thought I was getting better because I mean, that is how it is supposed to be right? I could feel a heavy burden on top of my chest but I tried to be happy. I really did try. Even with the counsellor, I said that I am getting better, continuously smiling all the way during the session. One because I believe that if I keep saying that, I would eventually get better and I also did not want to disappoint her for making very little to no progress at all.
One big thing is that I no longer real plan to commit suicide. Previously I might have done it for real. I seek help because I almost jumped out the window of a 10 storey building. Now I am beginning to see life with a broader perspective and it is not always black and white. Yet, I am struggling still with the everyday activities. It is very hard. I have to empty my mind and ignore the sadness to actually go out of the bed and go to class.
I am really tired; of being tired, of being sad, of being how I am, of disappointing myself for not being able to get better and appreciate myself more. I feel really alone, and it does not feel great at all. Reading the posts here made me sad because it seems that there are many people who is dealing with depression. It is indeed a terrible illness to get, because it is invisible to the eyes. My prayers are with everyone suffering from this and I really do hope we will eventually be happier and get better. Dear Diane, everyday is a struggle for me too, so dark, cold and lonely and I always feel inadequate so I never face anyone anymore.
People that are not depressed think you can just snap out of it, not so. My choice would be to find the train tracks instead of a 10 story building. I am 36, married, beautiful twin boys. Currently on month 8 since I was hospitalized and on disability. Still in a major depression. How can someone want to live under a rock and die when there is a faint memory that life has a purpose? My brain is sick. My natural state is to simply cry or hide somewhere.
Instead I use all my energy to keep busy and not be sitting with my thoughts. Everyone just wants to talk about things to do to cheer yourself up but listen everyone!!! If I had cancer would people come visit me? Maybe not. Maybe no one cares either way. I am smart. I am caring. I am attractive and likeable.
I am successful. I am OK. This is all just a dream. Most of the time I overthink at night and start feeling unlucky in life and then start crying. Is that a sign of depression? Even though im happy at day? I know I still have a heart and I try not to wear it on my sleeve. I ask God to comfort that little sole who never even had a chance at life and to give him a second chance.
Only a heartless monster could not be touched by that. Makes me realize how bad things can be, they are not sure who did it. I will spend my Thanksgiving alone, forgotten and crying as many of us hideaways do, ashamed to tell anyone. So often I see depression and suicide associated with mental illness, not so. Because I am unloved and my heart is broken causing depression I am mentally ill? Same with depression caused by the loss of a loved one or a job? I am a three time loser and all alone in the world but want to be left alone to suffer.
Thank god for this forum as no real person in the world cares about me. Sorry starting to cry, gotta go. I find her plain insecure. So, could there be possibly other categories?? I share with you all my knowledge to whom it interest, I believe we all want to live a healthy, wealthy and long lasting life or to be an immortal.
I am a pesach vampire. I only want to give guidelines to heal and recover faster from any ailment and disease, Most people will think being a become has a special limitations, But trust me it is fun and will help achieve all quest of life endevours, I will give guidelines on how to be a vampire with great skills, Abilities and powers. Though being a vampire has certain limitations, But it can also be a ton of fun. Your extra strengths and abilities can make you successful in almost every endeavor you participate in life and before you know it the money and acquaintances will come streaming in.
You can build wealth and gain prestige and notoriety and attempt things you may never have even considered as a human. Travel the world to see things most people only ever see on TV. This is going to be especially fun if you turn into a vampire. Clan vampires will show you the wonders of the world. Learn new languages, Travel, Go skydiving or scuba dive with sharks, You no longer need to be scared of nature or wildlife you will become the worlds strongest predator. Have fun with it and your life as a vampire can be more fulfilling than you ever dreamed of.
Experience these and get excited. Powers, Skills, Abilities, Mights you shall poses. The only way to have all these come through is contacting the hindu lord on the below e-mail: vampirelordtransformerchanging gmail. Being a vampire has certain limitations, but it can also be a ton of fun. Your extra strengths and abilities can make you successful in almost every endeavor you participate in and before you know it the money and acquaintances will come streaming in.
One thing you will definitely have more of is time. Beef up your education and learn all you ever wanted to. Travel the world to see things most people only ever see on TV This is going to be especially fun if you turned to share your life with one of us. Let us show you the wonders of the world. Learn new languages, go skydiving or scuba dive with sharks, visit the African safari. You no longer need to be scared of nature or wildlife you will have become the worlds strongest predator. Have fun with it and your life as a vampire can be more fulfilling than you ever dreamed.
Explore, experiment, experience and get excited. I only want to give guidelines to heal and recover faster from any ailment and disease, Most people will think being a vampire has special limitations, But trust me it is fun and will help achieve all quest of life endevours, I will give guidelines on how to be a vampire with great skills, Abilities and powers.
Vampires are real. They don't sparkle in the sun, but they will get sick if they don't feed, and their skin is probably better than yours. Real-life vampires are public speakers, computer programmers, and artists who may be sitting next to you on your morning commute. Because we're a bunch of prudes, they're scared of disclosing their vampire status to doctors, who are encouraging the public to become more accepting so these vamps and their donors will discuss their blood exchanges with their physicians or doctor, When a blood transfusion is done with a vampire, That person is automatically turned into a live vampire and will undergo a hunting battle to acquire powers and mights, It is alot of fun to be a vampire and i can testify about the great changes which takes place.
You want to get turned into a predator, Then find your way to the realm temple or contact the vampire lord also known as hindu priest on his email and say your request. I share with you all my knowledge to whom it interest, I believe we all want to live a wealthy, long lasting life or immortal. I only want to give guidelines to become a vampire with great skills, Though being a vampire has certain limitations, But it can also be a ton of fun. The only way to have all these come through is contacting the hindu lord on the below e-mail: Vampirelordtransformerchanging gmail.
I am marian jane and i stand as a female vampire here in New orleans. Vampires do live where ever they want, Because vampires are every where. This means that there are vampires where you live, you just wouldn't know it even if you saw one, Not until you become one.
I am among the 7th clans of vampires that makes life get easier, And much fun to live in. I want to make known to every one the hindu lord whom perform transformation rituals with beings getting turned into powerful predators. The vampire lord has made so many persons vampires, including me sharing these ads. I have experienced a great change and decided to take the task of bringing into notice the transformation rituals and also to win souls into the vampire clan. You are assured immortality and prosperity, And you shall be made to be very sensitive to mental alertness, You will have super speed and be stronger to control things of the world.
You will not be restricted to walk at day or sunlight, With the protecting ring you shall be able to go into sunlight and never get harmed by any garlic or mental, This is an opportunity to have the human vampire virus to perform in a good posture by acquiring the vampire blood, Ring and vampire guide book. As I was reading this article, I was able to recognize a lot of a half-sister of mine.
She HAS to be the center of attention no matter what, and she can be quite subtle in how she demeans you, etc. She's manipulative has to be in control and just flat out makes life miserable as much she quite possibly can. I try to stay away from her as much as possible because she is so draining. I will most definitely be on the lookout for your book Emotional Freedom. It sounds to be very insightful. Everyone is familiar with the traits exhibited by the emotional vampire even if they don't know the names to use for the behavior, or how it forms a pattern of control, especially if society rewards power imbalances which make the problem worse.
What really needs to be done is to figure out what creates emotional vampires in the first place, so society can create fewer of them. Just what are we doing wrong? It seems to me that it is either a childhood trauma i. That is not to say that everyone who has these things in common becomes one just to say that the energy vampires I have crossed paths with had these traits in common. I could go into more detail but I am not sure if it is desired lol.
He is a god man, nice and well liked man. He is never controlling or jealous. And those go both way s. He recently retired from high stress. Career in emergency services. Hi mood is improving, but while he worked for the dept he was angry a lot there was doorslamminga, yelling, sulking never Hitting or name Calling. He does not act like this anymore. He talks a lot and goes on and on about something he knows Im not interest I and then says "ok, I'll shuts up" which I think an attempt to make me feel guilty for not super interested. One problem is it's hard together a word in so I jump in if I have something to say and the tell me I interrupt him all the time.
The last fee days I realize that he wants to talk and really doesn't have any interest in what I say un Less of course I agree completely IF I can get a word I'm. So basically I mostly gave up and have pretty quiet while he goes on and on by saying, "hmm", really" and asking something something. So, to sum it up. I an feel fine when I'm home alone and when he gets home I instantly tense up and go on alert to sense his mood. Within minutes I feel completely drained and start watching the clock for that time that I a go to bed. How do we empath cope when the vampire is a spouse or child?
Oh yes help me.. I had no idea this could happen. I was starting to feel resentful.. The silent treatment if he doesn't like something I say, he takes his frustrations out on me, at times is quite impatient, and is always asking.. Thank you for your post. I'm sorry, but blaming other people for your mood is utter bollocks.
What do you want to do, make everyone else in the world change their behaviour to suit you and keep your 'emotional energy' high? For those who find themselves feeling "victimized" by others' displays of perceived negativity, it is up to them to devise a plan to limit or mitigate the problematic feelings they experience.
That's where this book helps come to the rescue! Ever heard the saying: You teach people how to treat you? There's also the option to change the way You feel about it altogether. Some ways work, some ways backfire. Knowing how to chose wisely is often in our best interest to avoid unintended consequences.
Subsequently I've stopped attending whenever possible. The winner at the end is whoever cries best with an uncontested claim. Any of those who distance themselves or go against the flow get turned at like a pack of wolves or a shark feeding frenzy biting at each other as well if more than one feel it was them who is at the center of the reason. Families who stick together no matter what are a breeding ground for toxic people. Yes people should be in charge of their own happiness, but when you have someone is constantly aiming every conversation at themselves, talking over you or telling you that your opinion on even your own feelings is wrong - then people do start to feel as if they are 'drowning'.
Spending time on improving your own self esteem and assertiveness would be far better than playing armchair shrink with your nearest and dearest. I agree with this being funny because we all have faults and it is teaching people to focus on faults and not strengths. It is important to own your own feelings with anyone else so telling someone " i am feeling put down by your comments" is far more effective than avoidance and you can then enforce your boundaries.
Uh oh. Freud, call your office, the projectionist is here. Or there's always the time honored "Methinks thou dost protest too much. You sound young and inexperienced but that is also the way of narcissists A motto I once heard from a true narcissist, not that I am diagnosing you, obviously, was, "People. Use them up as they are. Life is for self gratification and screw everyone else, and if you FEEL anything beyond that, anything nuanced or complex, and certainly if the actions of another TOUCH you in any way, you are laughably flawed. That was your message, yes? What a terribly sterile, cold, joyless and utterly meaningless existence that would be.
I would empathize, but that is difficult when facing a void. So glad someone else has picked up on the fact that you can't blame someone else for your own behaviour!!!!! I think its a good idea to laugh off the behaviour wherever you can see it. Because in many ways, it is funny. When its a close family member especially mother or father then it becomes no laughing matter, unfortunately.
But have you ever heard of Borderline and Personality Disorders and emotional dysfunctions? I can just recommand People to give a look at it Shari Schreibe About Borderline rbecause she writes not just About the types of abusive personalties, she also explains why some People fall easier victim to them and would Need to do a Treatment as well.
In my case I might be a naricstic People pleaser that can't say no, or better couldn't I had to learn to say no and to stop carrying About others too much, one of my ex-girlfriends that was 12 years older than me brought me close to suicide with her borderline shit and her sad Story that her grandfahter absused her I think its more important that we value ourselves in a healhty way and give our love and Attention just to People that give us the same amount back! And give a fuck to People that are abusive, every kind of relationship, needs to be in some kind of balance, if not speak about it or quit it!
I am lucky that I escaped this "greek sirens" and if you choose always the wrong partner or friend, then you need to check also yourself and do somthing about it!
What should I do? There think gravitational tits for the download misery and company of advisors. They plan to do it, anticipate doing it—these phases excite them and elevate their mood temporarily. How can someone want to live under a rock and die when there is a faint memory that life has a purpose? Scientific Data Management Research Staff.
Otherwise you gonna waste your life with shit people and die having lived nothing else than shit! And life is too short for spending and wasting your life time and energy with shit people! Most Qaucks are emotional vampires. Everyone has a give and take response you do not need an MD to tell you that. You can't walk away from them even in your job, so set them straight or leave. I've met people who truly are living a bad existance.
Both parents died, they are ill and at trouble at work because the time they needed to take off was too much. They are in debt due to necessary bills, and the problems pile up. There is truly little they can do to change things, and are going to counseling. But, they are draining at times. I feel bad because these people are shunned as victims, when they try so hard not to be.
This is different from those who contribute to their own issues and won't seek help. The 'victim' however still has some growing up to do. They fail to see or they do see, yet choose to ignore the reality that their circumstances are primarily a result of their own choices. Binge drinking or getting high every night might feel good in the short term, but it does little more than ensure that the necessary life changes keep getting pushed back, and back, and back, etc. Hi, my mom does all these alternately - its quite confusing, I probably wouldn't have noticed if I didn't grew up with her.
It's like shes on an unauthentic autopilot, but I get too exhausted to really feel sorry for her. Also I don't feel it's my job to support or help, especially since she cannot see there is a problem. She never wants to hear about anything from my childhood that might hurt back then. Some of these are knee-jerk door-slam solutions that will leave you with a repeat of the problem. Often not always a compassionate ear and a brief willingness to listen will get you a long way and may change the repeated outcome.
For example, the "victim" generally needs empathy and only 2 minutes of "Wow, that sucks. I'm sorry to hear that". Try that out. You may not get the victim play for much longer. You may hope to get the compassion yourself one day. If you give them solutions, and no human connection, you're missing the human element. Just like when your wife says, "I've got such a bad headache," she probably wants some attention and a bit of care, rather than, "take some ibuprofen.
I think this article over-applies quick-and-dirty solutions, and sometimes those are necessary, but in the long term, I think this article, especially on the website of a psychology magazine, should have a more useful psychological approach that leads to better interactions and lasting positive results. It makes no allowance at all for context. Most incessant talkers are isolated and so overload with the limited number of people they do meet.
It does not examine why we attract these type of people. We all give off signals through our body language, conduct and conversation that attracts others. But instead of being hostile when approached it is far kinder to tell them " i am really sorry but i am having a bad day today and not able to give you the time you deserve".
If it is a relative it can be as simple as explaining that you are too emotionally close to the person to help, but you could help them access professional support. It costs nothing to treat others humanely, and all those traits described occur in people who have been hurt bigstyle emotionally usually as kids or young adults. I have been told I am a kind, compassionate and open person. I hate being judged so I really try not to judge.
People thus tend to like me as I accept them as they are and I usually go by the Golden Rule "do unto others as you would have done unto you". However, now firmly in my 50's I have over the last few years attracted a couple of emotional vampires, AKA female "friends" that I have had to distance myself from. They don't fit firmly into any of the categories although one is a constant talker.
I will be in the middle of responding when she find something in the conversation that brings it back to her, she will cut me right off and we're back to "her". I will have to wait patiently until she is done, then state "as I was saying…. She knows she does it but for whatever reason she cannot stop. It's exhausting so I have had to limit my interactions with her as she is also in her 50s and will most likely not change. The other EV I have decided has some kind of a borderline personality disorder.
She decided we were great friends within a week or two of meeting yup, red flag. She complains so much in an unpleasant way that I feel like her therapist, and I hang up the phone feeling invalidated, unappreciated, and judged as the relationship is one-sided, and non reciprocal. I am now polite when she contacts me but I have stopped contacting her for the most part. She knows she has problems as her other friend confronted her and people who know her have mentioned her issues to me that she is difficult and something is not quite right.
I don't think it is my job to "fix" an adult in her 50's and it is too draining on me to be around her. In my experience with these two women, if a person is emotionally disturbed they will take advantage of one's kindness and compassion and will then repeatedly dump on you and expect you to be there whenever they need to dump.
When it gets to the point where I am suffering emotionally, enough is enough. Life is too short and as I said, it is not my job to try to help people who clearly need professional help. I know someone who is a good, caring person, but she has very bad coping skills and as a result she can be very draining to be around. Like I said, she is a good person but spending too much time with her can suck the life out of you.
Well, I guess the common advice of 'let it out you'll feel better' is bullshit then and I should follow through with the suicidal impulses I'm left to dwell on everyday with this CPTSD. I didnt choose this for myself. And keeping it all in is killing me anyway Many of the clients I work with who struggle with anxiety and depression, and in CBT, one of the most important aspects of cognitive restructuring we do is to focus on evidence, not assumption. Stereotyping, or conflating one negative trait into a whole host of traits we assume they must also have because we have stereotyped them as such, rarely helps.
Not only does it encourage further subjective non-evidence-based assumption about others such as what we assume they think about us but it also leads to similar, negative self-judgment such as: 'if I lied once as a child, it makes me a liar, untrustworthy, morally weak and just a horrible person!
I must assume that no one could ever love or even like such a TYPE of person! What about the people who rarely contribute to a conversation and rarely share anything about themselves - the more introverted or shy people? That can be excruciating for a more extroverted person. These people can you leave you feeling frustrated, confused, and tired. Oh gawd, I just read the breakdown of my ex-BF. He mastered all of those "special" qualities. Needless to say, I was emotionally drained and left One thing they left out is that these people are often master-manipulators and empaths like myself fall victim to their psychological manipulation.
The article says, "Try to spend time with the loving, nurturing people, and learn to set limits with those who drain you. I find this problematic. If someone who exhibits one or more of the above types finds someone else uplifting, they should be encouraged to seek them out, yes? But by that same advice the uplifting person would be instructed to avoid the 'vampire.
For the most part, people w similar views, gather together. Negative people who like to gossip or wallow in misery prefer each others company. Gossipers love to gossip, dramaqueens love drama- they seek eachother out, so no worries there, that they will be alone forever. I also believe that those high in empathy but w bad judgment and poor experience w people, get caught up with emotional vampires, narcissists etc. That is, untill they eventually realize that not every negative, energy draining person is a "Diamond in the rough".
I therefore totally agree that one should set boundaries, even though it may sound tough and un-empathetic, cutting people off etc; after all, we all have a limited amount of energy and should be careful with how we use it. The "emotional vampire" isn't exactly thinking of how their negativity is affecting the other, right? I do Think, though, that this realization comes later on, when one has tried to be empathetic, kind and giving, to no avail w people who are unable to give. In that perspective, our empathy is misplaced with emotional vampires and we are not using our amotional resources wisely.
All that energy should be directed towards people who lift our spirits and those we are more compatible with. I have to disagree with you regarding giving them a few minutes and the wow that sucks. I have been working with a constant talker for over five years. She had a tragic accident happen that caused the death of a family member. Instead of seeking professional help, she decided it was easier for her to make her coworkers her support system.
Now I know what you're thinking the poor woman just had a tragic accident happen. Well let me just tell you this 5 years later and I find myself privy to every little thought that crosses her mind.